sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
