After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I need a beard to bite.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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