i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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