so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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