Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
