that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
