ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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