just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
