I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
