im about as happy as oj after his trial
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
