My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
ttyl tear gas
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
