...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
