and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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