Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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