dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There r osticjed everywhere
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
