I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
