scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
