don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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