I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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