brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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