I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
