she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
