im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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