dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
