Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
