I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
4 words: hood of his car
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
