'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
