did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
