the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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