We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
