mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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