Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
