You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wear drunk well.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
