I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
