just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
