garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
