Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
