So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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