My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Randomize
