the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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