Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
false alarm. still invincible.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
