She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
