Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
PANTIES FOUND
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