My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
