remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
