idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
