I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
