It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
