Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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