grandma shit on top of the toilet
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
